painting of a white-haired noah, standing in a stream of light from heaven, surrounded by his ark and the animals
Noah's Ark by Charles Willson Peale, getty

Noah (and his ark) Updated, Improved for Our Time

ByRobert Krulwich
July 21, 2015
6 min read

Instead of the Noah you know, the one who built the ark, sheltered all those animals, sailed for 40 days and 40 nights and got to see God’s rainbow, instead of him, I want you to meet a new one. An updated version.

This Noah shows up in a tough little essay written by Amy Leach, of Bozeman, Montana, who knows her science, knows there’s a flood coming—a flood of humans, seven billion and counting, already swamping the Earth, crowding the land, emptying the sea, and her more modern Noah—informed, practical, not inclined to miracles—has a different plan. He announces,

water color painting with text reading ''unfortunately, animals. we are not going to be able to bring all of you with us this time.''
Illustration by Robert Krulwich

The old Noah, you may remember, squeezed eight humans (wife, kids, their spouses) and at least two of every critter, big and small, onto his crowded ship. But the new Noah, being more practical, feels he can winnow a little. “Everybody” is a lot of animals, more than you know. Back in the day, Amy Leach writes,

pink watercolor background with two drawings of frogs peeking up over the text, which talks about what it would be like to bring two of every creature onto noah's ark
Illustration by Robert Krulwich

And, honestly, (I’m thinking to myself), if the world lost a scorpion or two, would anyone notice? Or want them back? And blotchy toads, biting little flies—some animals are hard to keep going on a tight, crowded ship. On the last voyage, dormitory assignments were beyond difficult.

And all those supplies? Amy Leach writes how the first Noah would have had …

a yellow watercolor background covered with text about collecting food for animals
Illustration by Robert Krulwich

This doesn’t mean we don’t care, new Noah says to the animals. We definitely, absolutely want to bring a bunch of you with us. But, we’ve got to be practical.

Even if our ark has grown to the size of a planet, carrying everybody through is not going to be logistically possible, which is why, he says,

blue watercolor background with black text on it about being in charge of a future noahs ark where not all animals are included
Illustration by Robert Krulwich

And anyway, that first Noah? He lived in a different age, a time they call the Holocene, before humans began to dominate and crowd out the other species. Back then, there weren’t as many people. And there were more kinds of animals, closer by, hiding in the woods, clucking in the yard, so the world was more various then, more intimate, more riotous, and thinking about it (a little wistfully, if only for a moment), the new Noah quietly recalls that on that first ark …

yellow watercolor background with text on top related to how noahs ark would be different today than it was in the Old Testament
Illustration by Robert Krulwich

And now, animals, it’s time for many of you to step away. You’ve had your unruly eons. They were wild, unplanned, noisy, great fun. Natural selection ran the world. Crazy things happened. Those were good times, Amy’s essay concludes …

blue watercoor with black text on top that reads''But the future belongs to us.''
Illustration by Robert Krulwich

Amy Leach is a writer living in Bozeman. Her collection of very short pieces—about jellyfish, beaver, salmon, plants that go topsy turvy and stand on their heads—are collected in a wonderful little book called “Things That Are.” In this column I do to Amy what the new Noah is doing to our planet: I edited her down, sliced, diced, slimmed (lovingly, I hope), trying to give you a taste for her fierce, crazy prose. But like the planet, she’s wilder in the original, so I hope you go there and sample the unedited version.

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